Let’s talk about the Menopause

Dear reader, if you are anything like me, you’ve spent most of your adult life not thinking much about menopause. And that’s fair because until recently, it seemed that few were adding to the conversation. For example, my mother didn’t talk about it with me, and I suspect hers didn’t talk about it with her. And it’s also probably fair to say they didn’t understand it, were uncomfortable talking about it, and perhaps even felt a sense of shame regarding it.

The American culture in which I was raised (and I don’t think the UK where I live currently is much different on this) certainly doesn’t have a robust history of elevating women much past their reproductive years. When we hit 50 there can be a not-so-quiet whisper that maybe it’s time to settle into our Golden Girls era.

I suppose if I ever did think about menopause, it was more from the personal context of painful periods and miserable PMS symptoms, so from that angle I might have given a passing thought to menopause as a relief or as an end to what felt to me as an unpleasant journey. The menopause. A singular event where I might have a few hot flushes (or hot flashes for those on the other side of the Atlantic) and my uterus would then hang up a “closed for business” sign.

If you are anywhere in the vicinity of your 40s or 50s, you might have a suspicion that it doesn’t quite happen like that. And more importantly, you might also be aware that something isn’t quite the same as it used to be. You are still having periods and they may or may not be the same as they always were.

You might also be quite busy juggling work and caregiving responsibilities, so the crushing fatigue and sleepless nights might feel normal to you. And you may or may not have kids or partners or parents that cause you to feel constant feelings of anxiety, because that’s normal, right? Not speaking in fully formed sentences? When you have so much on, it is entirely logical that you might be forgetful occasionally, or just simply forget how to speak.

You aren’t sleeping well so that probably also explains why you are losing your temper so often at things that never used to bother you. And because your periods are regular you do not make the connection.

You are nowhere near your Golden Girls era, as you might have young children or even a newborn around. I never made the connection. I didn’t understand that these hormonal fluctuations are what we call “perimenopause”. Perimenopause is not a sexy word, and right there in the middle of it is that other horrible word. Menopause.

If you are standing in the middle of the road and a bus is heading towards you, it might be a good idea not to simply look away. But that’s what I did, I couldn’t look. I absolutely, positively did not want to see that grey-haired, washed-up, old-person menopause bus that was coming straight for me. Spoiler alert, it still hit me. Looking away didn’t work. But let me tell you what did work. Looking at it differently.

The word menopause is loaded with negative connotations. It feels inevitable, something that as women, we can’t change, we just soldier on. But what if we defined perimenopause and menopause as something different? What if we looked at this phase of our lives as something we do have some power over?

What works? As a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I want to tell you that you have more control over your mind and body than you think. In clinical trials, hypnotherapy has been shown to alleviate hot flushes by an incredible 74%, in addition to helping mood, sleep, and sexual function.

Our brains are powerful, and our physical experiences begin in the brain. Hypnotherapy also addresses almost every single symptom that we might have during these hormonal fluctuations. The anxiety, the tearfulness, the brain fog, the relationship issues, the inability to complete tasks, the panic attacks, the low mood, etc…

Hypnosis at its very core is a fast and extremely efficient way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the rest and digest response – the opposite of the fight/flight/freeze response). It’s an amazing stressbuster in and of itself. Hypnotherapy can also help to change the way we look at and process what is happening around us because it isn’t just the hormonal changes we start facing around 40, it’s also our shifting identities.

Carl Jung once said, ‘The afternoon of life is just as full of meaning as the morning; only, its meaning and purpose are different”. Hypnotherapy, specifically solution-focused hypnotherapy, can be an effective tool to find meaning and purpose as we navigate and create our evolving roles as women.

At the end of the day, we are the ones who get to define our lives, and our lives are far richer than simply the balance of our hormones or the contents of our wombs.

There are options out there for us and if you have stuck around this long, I want to thank you for reading. But I also want to point you in the direction of solutions (I am a solution-focused hypnotherapist, after all).

I can highly recommend ‘The Menopause Reset’ by Dr Mindy H Pelz, it is an invaluable source of information and a tremendous resource before during and after this time of hormonal transition.

I would also highly recommend that you speak to your GP and have a look at your hormones. HRT isn't for everyone, but it can be a total game-changer for some of us. Have a look at acupuncture & traditional Chinese medicine and tap into techniques that have been used for thousands of years. I offer a six-week HypnoMenopause® programme that can be used effectively as a stand-alone treatment or as part of a multi-disciplinary approach.

But the most important thing that I want you to know is that you have options. You are unique, so see what approach or combination of approaches works best for you.

I am always happy to chat about how I can help. If you think you might be struggling with symptoms, I encourage you to reach out, (vent if you need to!) by scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation, or just send me a message.